Togetherness Expands freedom

Fulfilling expectations and at times going beyond them, is love and caring in action. It strengthens bonds of togetherness. Expectations are the essence of relationships. In reality, there is no relationship without expectations – even in parent child relationship, there are moments when one has some expectations from his/her offspring. So let’s accept the reality of expectations.

Unmet expectations are the root cause of all pain, disappointments and breaking of relationships. The perceived burden of expectations restricts one’s freedom and weakens and breaks the bonds of togetherness. It is perhaps, the most important cause of breaking of relationships – joint families becoming nuclear, and now growing trend of live in relationships, divorces, and single parent family.

How does one deal this seeming contradiction between freedom and togetherness? The view that togetherness restricts my freedom is myopic and very short-term. Freedom at the cost of togetherness is like shooting in your foot. Because when you are on your own, you are literally on your own for each and everything; the care of a mother, the concern of a sister and the discipline of a father is not something that you can buy of a shelf.When you lose togetherness, while in the short-term you may feel that you have gained freedom, but in the long term you lose the warmth, care, and love of relationships. The challenge of dealing with inevitable ups and downs in life all the time makes one starts feeling lonely in a crowd and over time sinks one into depression and suicidal tendencies.

Family is the nursery all relationships where one learns and experiences the most valuable lessons of life. Sharing of joys and sorrows with dear ones increases the former and reduces the latter. It is one of those things, which mostly work, because, at the end one wants to come back to soothing and safe comforts of home and people who you call family. Family is a place, where you have people around who talk to you, ask about your day, do their bit of the chores and just be there in times of need. Family members are the one that will give you the support and freedom to explore the world and discover and pursue your passion and dreams. So pause for a moment and look within – you in all likelihood will realize that, togetherness indeed expands your freedom.

-By Anil Sainani

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